Philosophical Teddy - Dream Poem

I had that dream again, where I could fly in the oceans and swim through the suns. This time I couldn't tell if I was dreaming and tried to wake. I stared down at my limp body, wondering how long I was gone this time.

Seconds? Minutes? Lifetimes?

I reached down to tell if I was dreaming. I fell out of bed with a large thump. I looked up at the white washed ceiling. Wondering. Pondering.

When will be the last dream?

Some Art Attempts

So, I've decided to take up some drawing. It has been really fun and challenging. Holy cow! I don't have any fancy art software. I actually use Paint.Net, which is a free drawing software. You get a bit more flexibility than good ol' Paint. I mean, you actually get to work with layers. (Note: layers are good!)

I just wanted to share with everyone my latest work. Here is my drawing of an electric guitar. I'm learning guitar informally, but I have had the image in my mind for a while now. So here ya go!

Of course since I graduated college with my degree in Information Systems and Computer Science, I always wanted to start my own web comic. How are they related? Long story short, I spent much time during my summer internship post graduation reading a lot of web comics and got inspired! So, here is a punny little owl!

I sure do hope this is the beginning of something. I am just gonna start posting random drawing until I finally get an idea for a story. Hoo knows, right?

Stories

I consume other people's stories to avoid my own. Is my existence too real? Has me by the throat snarling in my face demanding attention? There are times where that escape is a blessing. The emotions are so real -- so raw and so deep. Let me borrow the feelings of another for a moment to catch my breath. Let me feel something I am not responsible for breathing. If a tear should fall or a smile cross my lips, let it be provoked by a delicious story that will drown out my own.

I consume other people's stories for the fun of it, for the thrill of it, for the joy and nourishment. It breaths a life into my soul that reality just siphons away. I can reflect on my reality from a safe distance and wonder where I am going. I can build friendships without uttering a word and demand justice for those who have no voice.

I consume other people's stories so I don't have to write my own.

The Escape

She dangled over the cliff while Alan and Ken talked. Her hands ached. She had carefully slid over the cliff to run away from Ken. She figured he would think she was too chicken to go near the cliff - with her fear of heights and all. She was lucky she made it this far. Usually her attempts at running away were stopped before she even had a chance. But Ken didn't anticipate the screwdriver in her pocket. And when he was settling-up for a "ride", he didn't see it until it was sticking out of his shoulder. Alan knew she was there, he saw her put herself there. He did nothing but watch. Ken made himself comfortable on the ground, no more than five feet away, while Alan mended Ken's wound.

She couldn't breath. She couldn't risk being found and dragged back to the house. He did things to her, even to Alan. That's why she wasn't angry at him for not throwing Ken of her trail. Ken had a leash on both of them and punishment for running away was worse than dying.

She had a choice. She could easily pull herself up and go back to the house. She knew that life.The life wasn't one worth living, but it was the only one she knew. The cycle of abuse was never ending. Her grip was slipping.

Or...

She released her grip and kicked off and away from the cliff. She fell into the unknown with fear and a bit of hope choking her heart. She took a deep inhale waiting to feel the water surround her body.

Home invasion

I've built a home of mud and stone
But someone is trying to break in.
The door is pounding
The windows rattling
And the earth shakes beneath me.

A voice demands, "Let me in. Let me in."
I know if I do
Destruction will overwhelm
And my home will crumble from within.

My heart races and fear blankets the rooms.
I can not shout Leave me alone!
Or stand up and fight them off.
I cower in the corner waiting.
Will they enter or grow tired and leave?
Will I be able to live in my home of mud and stone?

Sometimes

Sometimes I look in the mirror.
Sometimes I can't stand the sight of
the creature looking back.
I want to love and be loved
By me.
I want to say
"You're beautiful!"
"You're wonderful!"
"You're perfect just how you are!"

The voice doesn't allow kind words.
The eyes don't miss the blemishes.

I'm prefect, but with imperfections.
I'm wonderfully flawed.
I'm beautiful with that one exception.

Can I live this way?
Can I love with the beauty and the beast?
Can dark and light reside in the same form?
I don't know.
I wish I knew...

Keeping Up With the Holidays

Ho, boy! It has been a pretty crazy month. I recently entered an entrepreneur challenge with my husband and my brother. We are working on building a statistics calculator for non-math and non-computer-science researchers (so basically everyone else who finds stats and coding stats hella difficult). It was a great competition, with some good competition.

Luckily, we got first place! My brother and I were super surprised when they announced our team. Actually we sat there in disbelief for a while until my husband said "That's us!" We were really stoked accept our $500! It was awesome!

Here we all are looking like some thugs! Personally, I feel I just look pissed off and not so much tough. There is another one of us just looking super excited and cheesed out, but my sister has that one for safe keeping. Proof that I'm not a hardass in real life. I just act like one *wink*

That competition fell right around the same time as Thanksgiving. So it was a pretty busy month. This Thanksgiving I decided to try out a dessert along with a savory cheese roll. I'd have to say, things turned out pretty dang awesome even in the kitchen. I'm super excited about these tasty cheese rolls. They were a huge hit with my family and I had requests for seconds (even thirds). The cool part is for those of you who are gluten-free, these guys are right up your alley. One thing that really threw me off about the recipe is how runny the batter is. Don't let that fool you. These poof right up in just a few minutes in the oven. I think it is the air that gets in the batter from using  my hand mixer that makes a huge difference. I tried it once with the standing mixer and didn't get the same poofy results. Here is the link to these tasty guys. You can totally follow her recipe and get the same results every single time. You can have these guys alone, with blended refried beans, or with Thanksgiving dinner. These rolls go with just about anything and everything. They are also super addicting, so beware!

Now we go on to some tasty desserts. I made these NILLA banana truffles. I adapted the recipe from Krafts Food. I personally enjoyed my version, but I'll need to go back and try the original. I made them dipped in semi-sweet chocolate and white chocolate; and sprinkled crushed peanuts and pecans on top. The white chocolate coated truffles had a nice rich sweetness, with the nuts providing a great crunchy contrast. The semi-sweet chocolate coated truffles reminded me of chocolate dipped bananas. I could imagine coupling those with some vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.  

NILLA Banana Truffles (yields 36)

Ingredients 

2 small ripe banans
1 box of NILLA wafers
1 pkg (8 oz) Philadelphia cream cheese
6 oz white chocolate
6 oz semi-sweet chocolate
1/3 cup finely chopped peanuts and pecans

 Directions

1. Crush all the NILLA wafers in a food processor or by hand
2. Mix the wafers, cream cheese and bananas in a large bowl until well blended 
3. Shape mix into 1-inch balls and place on a cookie sheet
4. Place cookie sheet with truffles in refrigerator for 15 minutes to let firm up (they are easier to dip if they are cold)
5. In the mean time, place your white chocolate in top portion of a double boiler to melt
6. Remove the truffles from the refrigerator 
7. Once the chocolate has melted, begin dipping the truffles one at a time into the chocolate and placing back on the cookie sheet
8. Once you're halfway through the truffles, sprinkle peanut and pecans onto the top
9. Replace the truffles back in the refrigerator to allow the chocolate to firm up and the undipped truffles to firm up again. 
10. Repeat the same dipping process with the remaining truffles and the semi-sweet chocolate
11. For the last refrigeration, keep in the refrigerator for 1 hour or until firm. 

Store these guys in an airtight container in the refrigerator. I let them rest at room temperature for 15 minutes before serving.